Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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