whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Caramel Boing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops