roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

you know what they say... hydrate or die

i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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