A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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Womens rights

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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