One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

hi im paul!

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

Your eye color is very unique.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

Women's rights.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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