How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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Politics.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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11111

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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The joke below me is retarded

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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