There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

96

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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