What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Animal

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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