A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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