I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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