Who invented apple? God

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Your life

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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Joke

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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