Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Q: are you gay? A: maybe

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops