Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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View Terms of Service

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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