- Anti Joke

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

An Aisian failed a test

what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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