What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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well now

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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