Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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