Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

What rymes with milk..... milf

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

In Soviet Russia its very cold

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops