I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My mom touched my wiener : \

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops