What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Libraries.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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thumbs up!

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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minorities

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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