Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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