How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Itookasipasoda

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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A horse walked into a barn...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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Womens rights

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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