A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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