How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Skinny people fart less.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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Neil Lewis

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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