Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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