What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops