What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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