- Anti Joke

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

hi

Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

Kony 2012

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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