Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

A black guy gets arrested...

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Why? Because racecar.

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

you know what they say... hydrate or die

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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