How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A hayride would be fun.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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equality for women

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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