How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

The NBA lockout

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

I can see you under there. Under what?

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...