Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops