Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

Good to see you today!

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

Chikin nuggets

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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