A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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