What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

Haha, I get it..

A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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