Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, And so is she.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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What does? 42

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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