you know what they say... hydrate or die

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops