live or die you decide to late time to die

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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Libraries.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Animal

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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96

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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