What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

Nice legs....What time do they open?

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Your eye color is very unique.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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