What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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