what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A hayride would be fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +36

2+2= 478

thumb_up thumb_down +34

66

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops