Whats green and tasty? Snot

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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i like pie

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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