Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -6

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats green and tasty? Snot

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

2+2= 478

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +29

96

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops