A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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Hail Heetluh

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Nickelback

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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