Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

there once was a black man who played basketball

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

It got hit by a rocket.

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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