Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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