Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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