When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Feminism.

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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