i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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