Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops