What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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Corn Muffins

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops