How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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knock knock come in

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Why did the cop pull the black guy over because he was speeding

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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the NAACP

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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