Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

What's funnier than 24? 25.

Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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