A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -28

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops