How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops