whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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