- Anti Joke

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

Ham sandwich

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

A black man provides has a normal day job and provides for his family while staying faithful to his wife.

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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