Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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I have suicidal thoughts

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops